My name is Ambs and I cannot make decisions. There, I said it. I am the absolute WORST at making decisions! I have pretty bad anxiety, which forces me to worry about all the possible outcomes of said decisions. I'm always worried that I will make the wrong one, that I will be disappointed (which I have a pretty hard time dealing with), or that I won't succeed. I'm serious ladies, I have a hard time even deciding what to eat for lunch! Somehow, I've made some pretty big life decisions: where to go to college, which county to work for, what to study, what to be when I grew up... So far, they've all proven to be good decisions. But this latest decision might be the hardest I've had to make in quite awhile...
Should I move out of my parents house or stay put for a little while longer?
Which raises another difficult question: If I do decided to pursue this whole move out thing, should I rent or buy?
Let me give you a little background: Up until I moved into a dorm room my freshman year of college, I had never lived anywhere but the house I grew up in. Honestly, I had barely gone on vacation without my parents for longer than a week. I admit it: I was sheltered. At first, I absolutely hated living in a dorm. My roommate and I were polar opposites (and she was MEAN), I didn't know how to cook or clean, and I was just generally pretty lonely. I decided to stick it out until Winter break, then come home.
Well, I luckily met my future sisters in Phi Mu and finally felt like I had a home away from home. I ended up living on campus for the next 3 years of college and loved it! After that first year, I had great roommates and enjoyed the taste of freedom I was getting. I didn't have to answer silly questions all day long and I was rarely lonely; one of my best friends was always close by.
I must admit though: college never totally felt like home to me. I still brought my laundry home every week and worked at the same small town restaurant I'd worked at since high school. I wasn't great at cleaning or cooking (Thank God for my amazing roomies!) and I called my mom about 3 times a day, asking how to do menial household jobs.
When I moved back into my parents in May 2008, I didn't really have much of a choice in the situation. I still had a semester of student teaching to get through and no real source of income to speak of. It really wasn't so bad. Though I wouldn't call my parents the "cool" parents, they're definitely also not what I'd call strict either. I do have to answer some questions and deal with a bit of hassle if I'm going somewhere they don't agree with, but in general things are fine. I don't pay rent, utilities, or a food bill. I have a fair amount of financial and personal freedom; I get to spend time out with friends and plan tons of great out of town trips (such as my upcoming trip to Paris in 48 days!)
But, I'm starting to feel a little pressured to get a move on with my life. Though lots of my college friends do still live with their parents, many of them are in the same boat as me. Professionally, almost all of my work friends live with husbands/significant others or with roommates. Is it silly to say I feel a little embarrassed to admit that I live at home around them? In addition, the last 6 days (yes, it's been that long) of being cooped up in this house, reading on Facebook about all of my friends drinking together and playing in the snow, I've started getting jealous. Maybe it's time to move on and move out. Maybe I've gotten TOO comfortable.
If I do decide that now is the time to move out, I'd really like to buy a home for myself, and have some friends rent from me. (My mother is VERY in favor of this idea. She thinks renting is a huge waste of money.) I also have a very good friend who I'd like to live with, but who also wants to buy. So I'm not sure it's a great idea to buy together. Like me, she's been pretty spoiled at home her whole life, aside from living at school for a couple of years. Although it's a bit like throwing money away, renting might be a good way to "try out" living on my own without the commitment of having a home. If I absolutely hate things, I just have to stick out the length of the lease(this is where the indecision comes in). My mother does not like this idea at all. She thinks renting is dumb. I can't say I don't totally agree.
Can you tell I'm confused? Can you tell I need some help? I just need your advice: When did you decide it was time to move out? How did you decide between renting/buying? How do you know when the time is right?
3 comments:
Hey lady! I found you from Ams blog! I say...stay at your moms house and save some money! I didn't I bought my own place, etc...and I soooo should have saved money when I had it!!! BUT do what feels right to you! I never would have actually stayed...even if I knew that I would save a ton...I am really bad at making decisions too! I actually wrote a whole blog post about it too!!
I think living at home is a good thing because you have the ability to save money in order to go out there and buy a place. However, I can completely understand getting sick of living there. I was in that position. As much as I love my family, sometimes you just need your own space.
In regards to buying, its actually a great time to buy. You can get steals on some places. With that being said though, you don't want to rush into anything. Its a huge purchase. We rent right now and I completely agree that its kind of a waste in money as I'm basically giving my money to someone where if I owned a place I could be giving the same amount into an investment. But right now, I'm not in the position to buy a place and I'm not exactly sure where I want to live. With renting, you have the ability to move around and not having anything be set in stone (so to speak).
But whatever you decide, it will all work out!!
If it was me, I would say ride it out a little longer and stay at home. That way you can save more money.
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