I Have a Confession to Make...

My name is Ambs and I cannot make decisions. There, I said it. I am the absolute WORST at making decisions! I have pretty bad anxiety, which forces me to worry about all the possible outcomes of said decisions. I'm always worried that I will make the wrong one, that I will be disappointed (which I have a pretty hard time dealing with), or that I won't succeed. I'm serious ladies, I have a hard time even deciding what to eat for lunch! Somehow, I've made some pretty big life decisions: where to go to college, which county to work for, what to study, what to be when I grew up... So far, they've all proven to be good decisions. But this latest decision might be the hardest I've had to make in quite awhile...

Should I move out of my parents house or stay put for a little while longer?

Which raises another difficult question: If I do decided to pursue this whole move out thing, should I rent or buy?

Let me give you a little background: Up until I moved into a dorm room my freshman year of college, I had never lived anywhere but the house I grew up in. Honestly, I had barely gone on vacation without my parents for longer than a week. I admit it: I was sheltered. At first, I absolutely hated living in a dorm. My roommate and I were polar opposites (and she was MEAN), I didn't know how to cook or clean, and I was just generally pretty lonely. I decided to stick it out until Winter break, then come home.

Well, I luckily met my future sisters in Phi Mu and finally felt like I had a home away from home. I ended up living on campus for the next 3 years of college and loved it! After that first year, I had great roommates and enjoyed the taste of freedom I was getting. I didn't have to answer silly questions all day long and I was rarely lonely; one of my best friends was always close by.

I must admit though: college never totally felt like home to me. I still brought my laundry home every week and worked at the same small town restaurant I'd worked at since high school. I wasn't great at cleaning or cooking (Thank God for my amazing roomies!) and I called my mom about 3 times a day, asking how to do menial household jobs.

When I moved back into my parents in May 2008, I didn't really have much of a choice in the situation. I still had a semester of student teaching to get through and no real source of income to speak of. It really wasn't so bad. Though I wouldn't call my parents the "cool" parents, they're definitely also not what I'd call strict either. I do have to answer some questions and deal with a bit of hassle if I'm going somewhere they don't agree with, but in general things are fine. I don't pay rent, utilities, or a food bill. I have a fair amount of financial and personal freedom; I get to spend time out with friends and plan tons of great out of town trips (such as my upcoming trip to Paris in 48 days!)

But, I'm starting to feel a little pressured to get a move on with my life. Though lots of my college friends do still live with their parents, many of them are in the same boat as me. Professionally, almost all of my work friends live with husbands/significant others or with roommates. Is it silly to say I feel a little embarrassed to admit that I live at home around them? In addition, the last 6 days (yes, it's been that long) of being cooped up in this house, reading on Facebook about all of my friends drinking together and playing in the snow, I've started getting jealous. Maybe it's time to move on and move out. Maybe I've gotten TOO comfortable.

If I do decide that now is the time to move out, I'd really like to buy a home for myself, and have some friends rent from me. (My mother is VERY in favor of this idea. She thinks renting is a huge waste of money.) I also have a very good friend who I'd like to live with, but who also wants to buy. So I'm not sure it's a great idea to buy together. Like me, she's been pretty spoiled at home her whole life, aside from living at school for a couple of years. Although it's a bit like throwing money away, renting might be a good way to "try out" living on my own without the commitment of having a home. If I absolutely hate things, I just have to stick out the length of the lease(this is where the indecision comes in). My mother does not like this idea at all. She thinks renting is dumb. I can't say I don't totally agree.

Can you tell I'm confused? Can you tell I need some help? I just need your advice: When did you decide it was time to move out? How did you decide between renting/buying? How do you know when the time is right?

Oh the weather outside is weather...

Well, I'm sure that most of you are sick of hearing about this blizzard that has taken over, and basically shut down, most of the East Coast. I will start off by apologizing: I'm sorry but this post will be yet another run down of the nasty, clumpy, white precipitation that is occuring right outside my very window. But, as one of those stuck inside, lonely, and bored during this great catastrophe, don't be too hard on us: there's not much else to talk about today. It has been snowing for about 24 hours at this point, and from the looks of the scene outside my window, it's not stopping. (That yard stick is at 21 inches, in case you couldn't tell)

We got to leave school early yesterday in preparation for the big storm, and it couldn't have been on a better day. The kids all knowing it was supposed to hit while they were in school PLUS getting out of school two hours early equaled mass chaos in 3rd grade. My students were basically bouncing off the walls by the time I unleashed them out my back door to the snow storm that was already starting. I wish I had pictures of their craziness - it was like they've never seen snow before!

Once I was able to leave, I headed to Dunkin Donuts, grabbed a coffee and settled in at home for a few days of relaxation and catching up on grading, thinking this was going to be a great weekend at home. Well, now that I've been home for approximately 20 hours, I'm keeping an ever growing list of things I SHOULD have done when I got off yesterday, before the snow started sticking to the roads...
- gone to the gym for about 2-3 hours, since I won't be seeing it for quite some time
- fought the crowds at the grocery store: this would have kept me out of my house for quite some time AND I would have given me some delicious treats to snack on
- fought the crowds at the liquor store: stuck inside with my parents for an unidentified period of time, pretty self explanatory
- taken a leisurely stroll around Michael's: hoping that jewelry making/scrapbooking will keep me sane
- wandered around Target: I just love Target, such a good time wasting store!
- gotten a 1 in the afternoon Happy Hour drink with some teachers from school
- driven to Wisp to snowboard like I was SUPPOSED to do this weekend FYI: I tried snowboarding down my front yard, didn't work out so well

So, here I am, bored, lonely and already feeling the effects of cabin fever. My dad made us go outside and shovel and clean off cars around 11 last night, and let me tell you it was a good idea! My car is already completely hidden by the snow, as is my mom's and we cleaned both of them off completely! I can't imagine what they would be like if we hadn't done that!

These are the times when living with my parents, though very cost efficient, is not super appealing. I wish that I was stuck at home with Antonio and some close friends, drinking wine, watching silly movies and playing board games. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps today would be a good day to seriously start the home search back up...

Anyways, since my neighborhood looks like this:

This is what my afternoon looks like:

A large cup of coffee (eventually to be replaced by an ever larger glass of wine), some blogging and internet surfing, and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Wish me luck :o)

Snow Day!

At around 4:30, I got a call from my school system telling me that tomorrow is officially a SNOW DAY! Yes, I live in the part of the country that was literally covered by snow yesterday. As most of you know, I despite, hate, deplore, etc., snow or any type of wintry weather. I didn't think it was EVER going to stop falling!

I ventured out in the blustery weather to try cleaning off my car, help my niece build a snow-blob (man), and to take some pictures to document the crazy snowfall. Though I was around for the infamous Blizzard of 96, I was only about 9 years old and as a kid you don't realize how paralyzing that amount of snow can truly be!

I've spent the weekend baking Christmas cookies, grading papers, watching movies, cleaning my room, wrapping last minute gifts and eating. A lot unfortunately. I have not left my house, aside from walking in the neighborhood since Friday night; I am beginning to go crazy. However, as you can see, my car is currently parked on the sidewalk in front of my house and sadly, most likely not moving for at least one more day. To top it all off, Antonio is equally as stuck at his house 15 minutes away. I'm getting pretty lonely over here...

Kameron and I did spend some time exploring the neighborhood today. It was fun slipping around on the iced over streets and watching the crazy people try to drive around (and get stuck) in the snow. One guy got stuck directly in front of my house and my dad very nicely had to dig him out!

Even though being inside is starting to drive me crazy, I did get to watch a great Ravens win over the Bears today. And, I'm definitely liking the extended weekend this snow has given me. Now to try and stay warm (and away from the cookies...)

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