Apologies and Life Lessons

I know, I know... I've been MIA lately. I'm sorry blog friends! Part of me has been so busy and stressed with work and life, that my mind hasn't really been on my blog. The other part of me has been waiting for something to really happen, so that I wouldn't feel like I was just rambling like usual.

When I started this blog at the urging of my fellow writer friend Lauren, I promised myself that I wasn't going to get too personal in my posts. I'd talk mostly about fun and interesting things that happened in my life. I wanted to follow other recent college graduates trying to find their place in the world, as well as other new teachers, in hopes that I would find some feeling of togetherness in both of those scary worlds. Well, my friends, I found all that and more! Throughout my silly posts about concerts and bachelorette and frat parties, I've also allowed small pieces of myself to leak out about some more serious subjects like 9/11 and the death of my beloved Mom Mom. Through it all, my new found blog friends, as well as some real life friends, have been supportive and upbeat.

So, when Lauren recently wrote about life lessons, it made me start to think "Why haven't I been more open and serious? This is MY blog, why shouldn't I be a little more introspective in my posts? Isn't that the whole point of a blog? To have an outlet for all of those wierd, uncomfortable, confusing and serious feelings we all have?" After much deliberation, I have decided (without her permission... thanks laur) to use Lauren's post as inspiration for your very first look at Ambs' serious side. I know this is a lot of build up but please - don't get too excited. I'm really not that serious OR introspective. At least not for very long... Also, I'd like to apologize in advance for the length of this post. I can't help it - I'm a wordy person.

As I said, Lauren posted some Life Lessons she had found and I've decided to re-post and comment on the ones that touched me the most:

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
This one completely applies to me. If you meet me in real life, I am one of the wierdest, silliest, and completely inappropriate people you'll ever meet. I think that even though life does have it's hard spots, it's not meant to be dark and gloomy. Life is meant to be a celebration, a thank you party to God for giving it to us. That may be why I love working with kids - they haven't figured out all the bad parts about life yet. They find joy and humor in the smallest things and let me tell you, it begins to rub off on you after awhile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
This is something that I struggle with quite frequently. I was hurtly prettttty badly by some people that I really trusted in the past. Although I am no longer in contact with that person and fully realize that the whole situation was a true life lesson in so, so many ways, it's still hard not to be afraid that it might happen again. Antonio has been the most perfect significant other that anyone could ask for, in every sense of the word. He is patient, kind, loving, giving, funny, and strong when I'm not. But, despite all of this there are still moments when I get scared and take out my past on him. It's something that I'm working on.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
I have been guilty of this more than I care to admit. Although I am generally self confident, there are lots of times when I'm not. I worry that I'm not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, all kinds of not enoughs. But there are times when you have to stop and wonder, what might those "perfect" people had to have paid to get that way? Perhaps the skinny girl has an eating disorder or an exercise obsession, maybe the smartest people are also the loneliest, or maybe the pressure of always being the pretty one is too much to handle for some. God gives us the body, mind, people, and lives that He thinks we need. And all we can do is trust that, with all our hearts.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
I've always believed this, but never really saw it live and in person until recently. Although I am a slightly obsessive planner, I'm also a firm believer in living in the moment and living for today, because it might be your last. Not many people know this, but when I was in high school, my teenage cousin was killed very suddenly. She was younger than me, full of life, and ready to make her first steps into the world, when it was taken away from her. It made me realize at a very early age that any day could truly be your last. This is a lesson that I have always taken with me, in anything I do. However, the fact that we need to just get through today before we can worry about tomorrow showed itself to me when my Mom Mom passed away. For the first few days afterward, all I could think about was all of the things that she wasn't going to see, or hear, such as my wedding, my children, or my classroom at school. I worried, and still worry, about my very first Thanksgiving and Christmas without her sitting on the couch next to me. But, even though all of these things are still in my mind, I realized that dwelling on them was destroying me as a person, I was becoming a mean, bitter, depressed shell, and that was the last thing my Mom Mom would want to happen to her Baby. So, I've started living for today. If I'm sad, I cry. If I'm happy, I laugh. Everyday is different, but that's what beautiful about it.

Whew! That was a lot of seriousness for me - I think I need a break! But, I will leave you with this thought, that I like to keep in the back of my mind everyday:

The best is yet to come.